I knew that this day would come. As far as I could tell, the Mongols were coming closer and closer. I quickly ran to the nearest shelter. I knocked the door, and luckily, the people who were living there opened. "Please, let me stay with you. The Mongols are coming closer and closer! Let me stay here!" I urged with great desperation. The people nodded, and quickly led me to their hiding spot, which was a mini door covered in sand. "Hide here in our humble basement. If the Mongols ever come, they will not find you here, for we will kick sand over the door to hide you." 
      "Wait! What will happen to you!?" I asked. "Don't worry about us. We are also nomads. We will make peace with them." That's impossible! The Mongols are merciless! What are they thinking!? I thought to myself. Before I could say anything, I was pushed down into the basement, and the door was locked and closed shut. It was dark, and I could hear the thundering hooves of the Mongols' horses. Screams were everywhere. Upstairs, I could hear protests, and screaming. The man was gone, the wife and the children were taken. All was lost. Nothing could save the village anymore. I sensed that the Mongols have taken their leave. They were packing everything up on their horses. I knew, because of the heavy luggage being dropped. As soon as I heard their thundering hooves and screams and shouts going towards the mountain, I slowly opened the basement door. To my surprise, it was unlocked again! The sand quickly blew into little tornadoes as I burst my way out. When I came up, my jaw dropped.
       What used to be a farm village was no more. In its place, was rubbish, ashes, and little leftover sparks, hungry for some dry wood. I coughed as I looked over the leftover wood of the house. I quickly took a step forward, and started my journey of finding a new home.
12/6/2012 06:09:23 am

This is really good. It was really descriptive, but check your punctuation.

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